Ever been to a general admission concert on a hot day? Did you get there early and wait, standing and bored, eager for any sign that something was about to happen? If you were seeing Pearl Jam in south Florida sometime during my adolescence, I'm fairly sure you did, because at least half the human population was standing out there with me in that godforsaken sun-drenched nightmare. And it's likely that you, like most of the crowd, were so eager for human beings to reflect light back to you from the stage that you actually started cheering when you saw a skinny, shaggy-haired dude wander towards the mic and boldly intone...a bunch of gibberish, because the guy was a damn roadie, and you had just cheered for him like he was bloody Eddie Vedder. And I hope you felt like an idiot.
That said, this post is the roadie doing the mic check. Of course, nobody is actually reading it, but nevertheless, I must admonish those who might in the future: do not cheer for it.